| stooooooooooooooooned.
white lines on your mind, keep it steady, you were never ready, for the lies. white lines on your mind . .
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| Full of mindless days. A friend takes me out to lunch. She tells me you asked about me over cigarettes and warm tea. I shiver in my chair. Shiver for you. My heart skips. My cold, cold, shivering heart. It's so black now.
I need careful hands and strong eyes. I need forget, forget, forget and replace. I need money and I need time. I need music and I need touch and warmth. Thin spindly branches point me to nowhere where I want to be. I just need someone to lead me away.
I need and need and take and take and I'm afraid I don't have anything at all to give.
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| You feel so far. Were you ever really a part of me?
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| I cry at least once an hour now. I can't live here anymore. Not when your name comes from unsuspecting places.
Please. Please can I find someone else to forget? This heartbreak is killing me. I don't know what to do. And I wish I could talk to you but it's never the right time. I'll never find the time.
I owe so much work in. But all I find myself doing is smoking joint after joint and cigarette after cigarette..
I'm slowly rotting.
I just want love again. Real, real love. But I find myself cringing at the bitter taste, still feeling the sting from the disappointment, still have my heart stop and the air feeling thin at the sight of it. I was happiest when I was loved. I had something to look forward too. I had someone to take me out of here. I am so scared I'll never find it again.
I just need someone to take me out of this place.
And I feel you could really do this but I know it'll never happen. I don't know why I'm bothering.
I don't know I just can't help thinking of this.
I just can't help that I"m living every day over and over again..
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| Lately, I have been loosing myself in more drinks. Loosing my balance in more heels. Loosing my thoughts in more drugs. Loosing my mind in the thought, I need someone to love, I need someone to love, please anyone..
I float and glide around on my feet watching the faces pass me by. Bobbing blurs and piano keys. Noise trinkling in through key holes. Faces distorted by mirrors. Arms distorted by red, red, red...
I can't finish my thoughts more than the rain can finish falling. I am covered in so much skin and not enough feeling. I burrow under my blankets to try and find and pray for sleep but I can't even be still. My legs quaking, mouth quivering, eyes darting. I find you in the crowd and I run faster than I can speak. But it's no use, you just bring me back down..
I want to be beautiful. And in your eyes I feel so. But this isn't love - this is sex, drugs and rock and roll..
And I don't want to slow down.
I'm so lost.
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